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The Dummy Files: A Mom's "Love", Keyed in on Trouble, and More

By Javier Lavagnino, Esq. on June 26, 2009 | Last updated on March 21, 2019

This week's installment of the Dummy Files features some definitely not-so smooth criminals, who swiftly (and, sometimes, directly) brought the law's attention onto themselves:

Keying Car a Really Bad Move. If police reports are accurate, a New York woman who found her car blocked by some police officers' patrol car apparently really needed to get to work. The Post-Standard reports that 23-year-old Daphne Diaz proceeded to call 911 to report her "emergency". OK that's pretty bad, perhaps enough to throw another notch up on the bad 911 call list. But wait! She wasn't quite done. She located the cops (who were apparently investigating an unrelated complaint) and insisted they move their car. After she was told they would be done in a few minutes, she figured it was time for some payback, and allegedly keyed their car. Too bad some witnesses told police, and I'm guessing she didn't make it to work on time, particularly in light of reports indicating "[p]olice confiscated her keys and cell phone as evidence".

All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Run. A security guard in California reports "someone acting suspiciously in a workout room that was supposed to be closed and locked." OK, sounds a bit weird, but maybe someone just really felt guilty about a few extra added-on pounds? Well, police in Orange County, California, found one situation that appears to have been far more weird, to put it lightly. Looking into the gym they saw a guy "in a miniskirt, bustier, fishnet stockings and heels -- hiding behind exercise equipment while watching an adult film on a laptop." Don't worry, there may be an explanation! Police found "marijuana, methamphetamine and pipes in his backpack". Doubt that will be much help as far as criminal charges go, however.

Getting Her A, B, C's Mixed Up. Giving your kids a bit of a helping hand with their homework or projects after school is not unusual for most parents, but a high school secretary in Pennsylvania may have unwisely taken her helping hand to school computer keyboards. 39-year-old Caroline Maria McNeal allegedly "used the names and passwords of other school district employees to change grades and test scores on numerous occasions" boosting not only her kid's grades, but even her SAT score! Okay, so it might be fair to ask, what mother wouldn't be tempted to fudge her kid's grades just a bit, right? Well, okay then, what about sabotaging other students? Yeah, McNeal supposedly did that too, reducing the standing of two kids ranked ahead of her own. Ah, a mother's love...

Texting While Driving...Sexting...What Next? The various legal hazards of texting may be well documented by now. States are starting to frown on texting while driving. Then of course, there's the potential problems with the practice of "sexting", or texting risque messages. Well, one New Jersey resident gives a good less on another dubious practice. Heads up all, just might want to refrain from texting a police officer to ask for drugs. Geez, that tiny little keyboard is a veritable minefield of legal consequences.

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