Resume Humor, the Gift that Keeps On Giving

By Neetal Parekh on March 10, 2010 | Last updated on March 21, 2019

It's been a few months since our last installment of resume humor as collected, compiled, and commented on by In that time the economy has slowly begun to show hints of recovery and recoil and job seekers are still keeping steady with applying, networking, and hoping as they contemplate their next cubicle or corner office. 

And with no shortage of job applicants, there is also plenty of ripe job application humor.  Laugh with us....then go review your resumes and cover letters for unintended mistakes.

"COVER LETTER: I'm attacking my resume for you to review."
Don't be so hard on yourself!

"DUTIES: I was instrumental in helping the company go through bankruptcy."
As long as you didn't contribute to its demise.

"DUTIES: I was the company's liaison with the sock exchange."
We'll trade you six ankle socks for three argyle legwarmers.
"SALARY DESIRED: Keep me alive, or enough to cover the expenses."
Evidently, not a very skilled negotiator.
"AVAILABILITY: Middle of May, middle of July, almost all of August."
We'll call you ...
"ACTIVITIES: I am very outgoing, and love going out all the time."
When should we expect you to come in for work?
"COVER LETTER: I've gone to great links to satisfy my executive clients."
That's par for the course in business today.

COVER LETTER: "I am defiantly an asset to any company."
And a rebel at that.
"COVER LETTER: I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them know I'm looking to change jobs."
I suppose it all comes down to how you define "loyalty."
COVER LETTER: "Hi! My name is ______________. I am applying for the advertised opening."
Who should we ask for when we call for an interview?

"WORK HISTORY: Faxed documents to attorneys over sees."
We see a problem.


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