Porsche-Driving Seattle Lawyer Keyed 3 Poorly-Parked Cars
Attorney Ronald Clarke Mattson is an American hero.
Nay, a martyr.
His cause? Exacting vigilante justice on the perpetrators of bad parking jobs in one downtown Seattle parking garage.
His method? A couple of keys and some nasty notes.
In other words, after keying at least three poorly-parked cars, the 63-year-old veteran attorney has been charged with 2nd degree malicious mischief, which the Seattle Post-Intelligencer reports is a felony punishable by up to 60 days.
The story of Ronald Clarke Mattson begins in March, when the Post-Intelligencer reports that two different women received nasty notes and key scratches on their cars.
One note suggested "parking lessons" and called the car's owner stupid, while the other asked, "Where did you learn how to park, Dweeb!!"
Look, no one has ever said that you need to be smart or mature to be an American hero. Or a martyr.
Anyway, parking garage security decided to conduct a sting, leaving a bait car parked in two spaces. As the guards watched on, the paper reports that Mattson drove by the car (in his silver Porsche!), stopped, reversed, and then got out and keyed it.
Don't judge--he deserves at least some respect for sending a message to the poor parkers out there. Plus, you know you've thought about doing the same thing before.
Ronald Clarke Mattson eventually owned up to his keying activities and has even apologized and paid about $6,100 in restitution to his victims, notes KIRO-TV. But he's still being prosecuted, and apparently seeking treatment.
- Seattle attorney charged in car keying incidents (Fox News)
- Luxury Car Vandalism Spree Ends in Criminal Charges (FindLaw's Legally Weird)
- Convicted Lawyer Blames DUI on His Toothpaste (FindLaw's Strategist)