Need a Last Minute Halloween Costume? Why Not Texas Law Hawk?

By Casey C. Sullivan, Esq. on October 26, 2015 | Last updated on March 21, 2019

You've got less than a week to put together the perfect, attorney-appropriate Halloween costume. Forget going as sexy Chief Justice Roberts or a blood-lusty Antonin Scalia (serving up some lethal injection cocktails). Why not try the Texas Law Hawk? All you need is a suit, a dirt bike, and a whole lot of screaming.

Bryan Wilson, the so-called "Texas Law Hawk," has quickly gained a reputation, on YouTube at least, for his screaming, flame-shooting, not-exactly-subdued approach to attorney advertising. If you were worried that dressing as a drunken lucha libre wrestler would be too subtle for your law firm office party, the Texas Law Hawk could be the perfect costume for you.

"Due Process? Do Wheelies!"

How absurd are Wilson's ads, which have racked up hundreds of thousands of views on YouTube? His most recent begins with a triple-overlaid montage of the young attorney popping a wheelie on his dirt bike over images of a bald eagle, waving American flags and liberty bells. (He's a patriot.) The scene is broken by Wilson screaming, monster truck rally style, "BRYAN WILSON, TEXAS LAW HAWK."

It has to be seen to be believed:

Wilson claims that he was given the name Texas Law Hawk as a student at Texas Tech University School of Law. So impressed by his aggressive advocacy tactics, his fellow students must have thought: "Man, that guys is hawkish! But about the law. Let's call him the Texas Law Hawk, since we're also in Texas." And if you can scream, know some dirt bike tricks, and can carry an American flag, you could be the Texas Law Hawk this weekend as well.

Other Lawyerly Costumes

Not inspired by the law hawk? Maybe Jamie Casino is more your style. This Savannah, Georgia, lawyer's annual Super Bowl ads are works of cinematic genius. Casino, whose commercials make him look like David Blaine pretending to be Thor, recounts taking on corrupt politicians, the death of his brother, and finding the path of righteousness. The costume is easy, too. All you'll need is a hammer, a fog machine, and a leather jacket.

Or, if you've got a bit of self tanner and a Lamborghini lying around, there's always Stuart V. Goldberg, Esq. This Chicago lawyer made headlines a few years ago over -- shocker -- his "ostentatious self-promotion" and curious pigmentation. For the full effect, change your Lambo's license plate to "RNMAKER."

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