Man Twice Ejaculates into Female Co-Worker's Water Bottle
Most of your clients likely have an LLC or PLLC after their names. Some might be individuals, sure. But its hard to imagine too many clients pulling something as strange and wacky as what Michael Kevin Lallana pulled at his job.
Convicted of two misdemeanor counts of battery for ejaculating into his co-worker's water bottle, an Orange County judge recently sentenced him to 180 days in jail, three years probation, and ordered him to register as a sex offender.
Apparently he just wanted to feel close to his co-worker - twice.
A woman, identified only as Tiffany G., worked with Michael Kevin Lallana at Northwestern Mutual Financial Network in Newport Beach, reports KTLA. Though they didn't know each other, Lallana found Tiffany attractive.
This case went before a jury, and Tiffany testified that, in January 2010, she drank from a water bottle left in her office and felt sick. When it happened a second time in April 2010, she saved the bottle and did some detective work.
Eventually, Human Resources tested the water, and the O.C. Weekly reports that tests confirmed that the bottle contained semen belonging to Michael Kevin Lallana.
Lallana told police that he "felt that it was as close as he could get" to Tiffany and that he chose the bottle because "her lips touched it," according to KTLA. This elevated the charges to a sex-related offense.
Lallana's lawyer told KTLA that he didn't understand the jury's decision--there was no application of force, so there was no battery. Nice try, counselor. The jury didn't buy it.
- Man convicted of ejaculating into female co-worker's water bottle to be sentenced (Press-Telegram)
- Assault and Battery Overview (FindLaw)
- Free Sample: Yogurt Tainted With Semen (FindLaw's Legally Weird)
- Gluten Free Fraud: Breadmaker Gets 9-Year Sentence (FindLaw Blotter)