Malawi Farting Law to Make 'Fouling Air' Illegal

By Stephanie Rabiner, Esq. on February 03, 2011 | Last updated on March 21, 2019

Bean, beans, the musical fruit:

The more you eat, the more you toot.

Unfortunately for the people of Malawi, where beans are a common food staple, time has proven this old playground rhyme true.

While people in the United States are up in arms over the recent smoking ban in New York parks and beaches, citizens of Malawi are being legitimately attacked by the air quality police. And the farting police. Parliament is considering what is now known as the "Malawi farting law." That's right, ripping one in public may soon be illegal in the bean-loving nation.

Taking on those who can't control involuntary bodily functions, Malawi officials cite a somewhat noble purpose: "to mold responsible and disciplined citizens." Thus far, the advent of the law has had anything but that effect, reports The Daily Mail, as the Malawi farting law already has citizens blowing up at the government's new attempts to regulate gas use.

Those of us who have ever been in a closed-off room when someone decided to break wind might applaud Malawi's visionary approach. Others strongly believe in the adage that "A fart not smelled is a fart wasted." But no one can deny that the text of the law does get one thing right--passing gas is noxious to the health of others.

Let's cut to the cheese. How is Malawi going to enforce the new law if whoever smelt it, dealt it? The police may start finding themselves on the wrong side of the room.

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