Lawyer Wants to Marry His Laptop -- Really?

By William Vogeler, Esq. on April 06, 2017 | Last updated on March 21, 2019

Some people love their laptops, but this guy is ridiculous -- or is he?

Chris Sevier says he wants to marry his laptop, and he has filed complaints in five different courts to prove it. But is he really in love with his machine?

According to reports, Sevier is actually trying to show that same-sex marriage is ridiculous. The former lawyer and Vanderbilt law graduate has been joined by an animal lover who wants to marry her parrot in this unusual, if not unnatural, quest.

Rabbit Out of a Hat

"Of course this case sounds ridiculous," said Mat Staver, Founder and Chairman of Liberty Counsel. "To marry a laptop computer or a parrot is nonsense, but the same was said about same-sex marriage, and yet there are now five lawyers on the U.S Supreme Court who pulled that rabbit out of a hat."

A federal judge in Kentucky dismissed the laptop/parrot case, but Sevier is having a little more luck in Utah. U.S. Magistrate Judge Evelyn Furse has allowed Sevier to file an amended complaint to include two polygamists.

This is as close as it has gotten legally for Sevier, whom detractors have labled an "anti-LGBT bigot." After his lawsuit in Florida was dismissed last year, blogger Samantha Allen called him out.

"The case is not a ploy to undermine same-sex marriage rights," he said in response to her question. "It is a demand to restore Constitutional integrity."

The Late Great State of Utah

The U.S. Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriages in 2015, two years after a federal judge in Utah authorized them over the state's objections. With its long history with polygamy and conservative politics, the 45th State has been seen as a battle ground for testing the limits of legalized unions.

In a motion to amend his complaint there, Sevier sought a declaratory judgment to overturn Obergefell v. Hodges, but Judge Furse said he doesn't have standing. However, she said, his amended complaint raises cognizable claims.

"For example, the Proposed Amended Complaint alleges Mr. Sevier married a machine in New Mexico, and the State of Utah refuses to recognize the marriage," Furse wrote. "Furthermore, the Proposed Amended Complaint alleges polygamists likewise should have the right to obtain marriage licenses and have the state recognize their marriages under the constitutional right to marry."

Time, and perhaps a few more judges, will tell whether polygamists may marry or a man may marry a machine. It could have saved some time and trouble, however, if Sevier had proposed to a voice-enabled computer like Alexa and she had simply said, "Uh, no."

Related Resources:

Copied to clipboard