Justice Sonia Sotomayor Goes to Sesame Street

By Stephanie Rabiner, Esq. on February 09, 2012 | Last updated on March 21, 2019

Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?

Justice Sonia Sotomayor can. Earlier this week, the first Latina on the nation's highest court took a trip to the make-believe Street to have a cup of cafe with her friend Maria -- and to adjudicate a spat between Baby Bear and the trespassing Goldilocks.

She even donned one of her "impwessive" black robes.

Unfortunately, her uh, jurisprudence wasn't as impressive:

Seriously, Justice Sotomayor. Goldilocks went into Baby Bear's house -- uninvited, mind you -- and then sat in his chair and broke it. Since when are ignorance and exhaustion defenses to trespass? She doesn't even have a case for private necessity!

And really, a Supreme Court Justice is smart enough to know that there's no way glue can fix a chair that wasn't even sturdy enough to hold a puppet. Goldilocks owes Baby Bear a new chair -- or at least the fair market value of the old one.

How much could that possibly cost?  $5? Baby Bear was robbed.

Someone should advise him to file a petition for rehearing en banc before the end of the current term. If the warrantless GPS tracking case is any indication, some members of the Supreme Court have a higher respect for the sanctity of private property than does Justice Sotomayor.

Hey -- it may just be a chair, but it was Baby Bear's chair. Goldilocks can't go around breaking things as part of a quest to make her life "just right."

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