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Judge Who Handed Condom-Filled Acorns Cleared on Ethics Charges

By Stephanie Rabiner, Esq. on August 24, 2011 | Last updated on March 21, 2019

He may like to feed women condom-filled acorns, but Judge Isaac Stoltzfus of Intercourse, Pa. is apparently still fit for the bench.

Though he was cited for disorderly conduct for passing out the enriched acorns on state Capitol grounds, the state's Court of Judicial Discipline agreed to dismiss misconduct charges brought earlier this year.

He, however, is to refrain from posing as the safe-sex squirrel in the future.

It's unlikely that Stoltzfus will be able to suppress his urges, as the Intelligencer Journal reports that he's made thousands of condom-filled acorns over the years.

He claims he uses the stuffed nuts in his courtroom to help raise awareness of safe sex and the effectiveness of condoms against pregnancy and disease.

If you're a bit baffled, so was the Court, noting that "his preoccupation with acorns is mystifying."

What's more mystifying is his desire to see women eat unwrapped condoms.

Oh yeah, the incident that sparked the misconduct complaint involved Judge Stoltzfus giving two women acorns for a "nice afternoon snack," reports the paper.

They bit into the nuts only to find that they were hollowed out and stuffed with unwrapped condoms.

Thankfully they don't appear to have been used.

Although, if they had been, Judge Isaac Stoltzfus still might have been able to prevail over his tree nut oppressors.

The ethics court seemed to be peeved with the charges, notes the Journal.

Apparently, in Indiana, the legal community doesn't care whether a judge passes out condom-filled acorns as long as such behavior isn't part of the "decision-making process."

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