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Judge Koh to Apple Attorney: You Must be Smoking Crack

By Robyn Hagan Cain on August 16, 2012 | Last updated on March 21, 2019

Forget about Marissa Mayer. Judge Lucy Koh is the most powerful woman in Silicon Valley right now.

Mayer may be feeding the masses at Yahoo! teriyaki chicken paninis, but Judge Koh force-fed Apple counsel a slice of humble pie this week in the Apple Samsung trial.

Attorneys for Apple and Samsung have been engaged in a world litigation tour for some time as the two tech companies have accused one another of stealing patents and designs. For the last few weeks, the companies have been camped out at a federal courthouse in San Jose, arguing about whether Samsung "slavishly copied" Apple's iPhone and iPad designs for its Galaxy phones and tablet.

On Thursday, Apple asked the Judge Koh's indulgence for just a few more witnesses before closing the book leather tablet holder on the case.

Okay, so maybe it was more like 20 witnesses.

Judge Koh's response?

I am not going to be running around trying to get 75 pages of briefings for people who are not going to be testifying ... I mean come on. 75 pages! 75 pages! You want me to do an order on 75 pages, (and) unless you're smoking crack, you know these witnesses aren't going to be called when you have less than four hours.

(For what it's worth, CNET reports that Apple attorney Bill Lee assured Judge Koh that he wasn't smoking crack.)

The real issue here is about the trial's time constraints, not the dangers of a crack habit.

CNET explains that Apple and Samsung each have 25 hours to make their case. Samsung is down to 90 minutes, and Apple has 6.5 hours. During that time, Apple plans to cross-examine Samsung's witnesses and bring its own expert witnesses for rebuttals.

Judge Koh knows that there isn't enough time for 20 additional Apple witnesses, and Apple's request today made the judge mad as hell (and she's not going to take it anymore).

Judge Koh already had fan boys in the blogosphere, and today's crack comments will only add to her legend.

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