How to Not End up on Police Department's Facebook Page

By Christopher Coble, Esq. on July 22, 2015 | Last updated on March 21, 2019

Dunwoody, Georgia -- birthplace of Ryan Seacrest and home to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. It's also not a place where you want to anger the local police.

After what sounds like quite the eventful Monday night, Dunwoody PD took to the 20th Century's town crier -- Facebook -- to dispense a little wisdom to the townsfolk. Here now is their advice on staying out of jail:

Things You Should Not Do

Here's the full post from the Dunwoody Police Department's Facebook page. Some of these details are almost unimaginable. And yet, these details come from a case that all transpired in one night:

Ok folks, we had an incident last night involving a young man and we feel the need to advise you of a few things that...

Posted by Dunwoody Police Department on Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Let's take their advice point by point:

  1. Don't drive recklessly on Ashford Dunwoody Rd and refuse to stop when officers initiate a traffic stop. Geez, even the noobs know to stay off Ashford when driving recklessly. And fleeing or attempting to elude an officer in Georgia can net you $5,000 in fines and a year in the pokey (which I imagine all jails in the state are called).
  2. Don't ditch your car after hitting a curb and immobilizing your vehicle. I dunno, if you don't ditch the car, how are you going to continue to run from the officers?
  3. Don't run from will be quickly apprehended. Oh. Yeah this seems like sound advice. Also, see above the penalties for fleeing.
  4. After getting caught, don't tell officers that you were not the one driving (even though you were the only one in the car.) Not the best of lies, obviously. And an obstruction of justice charge, to boot.
  5. Don't post a picture on your Facebook page of you drinking beer two hours before the incident when you're only 19 years old. Clearly, DPD is social media savvy. And this 19-year-old is not. The first rule of Facebook is to make that profile private, youngster. Oh and let's add a minor in possession of alcohol charge here, if not a DUI.
  6. Don't post videos on your Facebook page of you going over 150 mph with your friends on I-285. What's the statute of limitation on speeding? Two years for a misdemeanor? Uh-oh.
  7. Don't post videos on your Facebook page of you driving recklessly and performing burnouts in an apartment complex parking lot. YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME! YEAH BURNOUTS WOOOO!!!!

Things to Do

Obey the traffic laws in Georgia, and everywhere else. Respect the Dunwoody Police Department. And, for the love of god, don't put criminal evidence on Facebook.

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