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'F*** It': Tired of Hospital, PA Man Steals Ambulance, Will Spend Time in Prison Instead

By Christopher Coble, Esq. on September 02, 2016 | Last updated on March 21, 2019

Look, none of us like being in hospitals. Most everyone there is sick or injured, or attempting to comfort someone who is sick or injured. Hospitals are an institutional reminder of human frailty and the all-too-brief nature of existence on this planet. Plus, they smell funny.

Still, that's no reason to say, "F*** it," steal an ambulance, and try and drive it home. So don't do like David Joseph Karosus, of Carbondale, Pennsylvania did, lest you'd rather spend a couple years in prison rather than a couple more days in the hospital.

Out of the Hospital in a Hurry

Karosus apparently became impatient with hospital staff, who he believed was "f***ing around with his leg." So after he saw an ambulance crew drop a patient off at the emergency room, Karosus said, "F*** it," hopped in the empty and still running emergency vehicle and headed home. The profane patient never made it, though -- state police used the ambulance's GPS signal to find Karosus and pulled him over on his way toward Carbondale.

So what do you get for impatience and emergency vehicle theft in Pennsylvania? Thirty months behind bars and a strict no-contact order with the ambulance company, according to Judge Tina Polachek Gartley. Karosus was also driving the stolen ambulance on a suspended license.

Ambulance Chasers

No one really wants to see the inside of an ambulance, either. Unless it's a "Slambulance" converted to contain a stripper pole, leather furniture, and have "DFW Cougar and Kitten Rescue" painted on the outside. That might be pretty cool, even if real EMTs and ambulance operators aren't too keen on it.

And you may hop in one if you've just been escorted out of a hospital by security when your plan to impersonate a doctor blew up and you need a quick escape. And even then, you may want to do better than leading police on a brief chase before crashing into a BMW.

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