Drunk Lab Tech Lowered His Pants, Freed Lab Monkeys
Most people feel sorry for lab rats but no one should feel sorry for lab monkeys who get to roam free like the ones in Coley Mitchell's lab.
The Georgia lab tech was allegedly found on Monday night having a grand old time in the lab in the midst of what appeared to be a pants-off dance-off with the labs inhabitants, a family of monkeys. Mitchell reportedly had his pants off and the monkeys were having a good time out of their cages.
Mitchell just forgot one key rule in throwing an epic party.
Don't throw a party at work. Really don't do it if you expect to get drunk and take your pants off.
When Mitchell was discovered he was already too drunk to stand. The police found him sitting in a room with two uncaged monkeys, reports New York Daily News. When asked to put his pants back on and go home, he was uncooperative.
This move ended poorly for Mitchell who was charged with public drunkenness and taken to Richmond County Jail.
Being drunk in public is only ok if it doesn't bother anyone. If your intoxication starts interfering with your ability to be a polite citizen there's a good chance you'll find yourself in some legal trouble.
The best choice is to take yourself home at that point. The second best choice is to keep your mouth shut and ask to speak to a lawyer.
But for you animal lovers out there, the story has a happy ending. Georgia Health Sciences University, where the lab is located, confirmed that the monkeys weren't harmed by the raucous partying and are doing just fine, reports WJBF.
Mitchell's job is not so fine. The school made a statement that they are taking the allegations very seriously. It doesn't look like they'll hold his position if he's convicted.
There is no report on whether the lab monkeys enjoyed being freed temporarily but if they could speak we're predicting they would tell Coley Mitchell to keep his pants on. Just a guess.
- Police: Drunk lab tech lowered pants, freed monkeys (Atlanta-Journal Constitution)
- Drunk, Naked Judge, Wrapped in Bed Sheet, Arrested in Hotel (FindLaw's Legally Weird)
- Biting Monkey Escapes Again: 'Convict' Stages Daring Cage Break (FindLaw's Legally Weird)