College Student Banned for 'Hot for Teacher' Essay Loses Appeal

By Stephanie Rabiner, Esq. on February 14, 2012 | Last updated on March 21, 2019

Brian Vincent is one lucky attorney. Or maybe not.

The Michigan litigator recently signed on to represent Joseph Corlett, a 56-year-old student at Oakland University. Corlett was suspended for 3 semesters after writing a "Hot for Teacher" essay about the female instructor overseeing his critical writing class.

And yes, it was based on the Van Halen Song.

Students must keep a writing journal as part of the class requirements, explains ABC News. When asked to "write creatively about any topic," Corlett decided to write an ode to his instructor. It included this lovely turn of phrase:

She walks in, and I say to myself, 'Drop, mother (expletive), drop.' Christ, I'll never learn a thing. Tall, blond, stacked, skirt, heels, fingernails, smart, articulate, smile. I'm toast, but I stay.

As if the Van Halen reference wasn't enough, the "Hot for Teacher" essay further alluded to Corlett's age. He called the teacher "my Ginger" -- as in the character from Gilligan's Island.

The hot teacher eventually collected the writing journals and was surprised to see what Joseph Corlett had to say, reports the Oakland Press. He also wrote about his sexual relationship with his wife, another student, and composed a fake letter from the instructor to himself.

She was understandably a bit afraid.

Corlett and his attorney fought the suspension on First Amendment grounds. Vincent told the Press that offensive behavior isn't necessarily violative of the law. While this may be true, the appeal still failed. Last week Gary D. Russi, president of Oakland University in Michigan, rejected a request from the Foundation for Inividual Rights in Education (FIRE) to reconsider the three-semester suspension.

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